Snow day again...

heh...yesterday was another snow day. well, today went to school so yeah...not that sian. oh and my mom said that people can get depressed in winter from staying home and doing nothing to much. I'm not that surprised. When i stayed home for just slightly less than 72 hours, i was bored to death! on tuesday, the bible study was cancelled, on wednesday, the prep class was cancelled. well, this is now my exam schedule:
Friday, 25th January - Religion paper @ 1pm
Monday, 28th January - English paper @ 8.30am
French paper @ 11am
Tuesday, 29th January - Snow day
Wednesday, 30th January - Snow day
Thursday, 31st January - Science paper @ 8.30am
Band testing @ 11.40am
Friday, 1st February - Math paper @ 8.30am
Sleep-over/birthday party @ Sarah's after paper
Monday, 4th February - Socials paper @ 8.30am
Tuesday - 5th February - School's on as usual while exams that were supposed to be held on 1st Feb goes on
Wednesday, 6th February - Ash Wednesday/PREP mass
Thursday, 7th February - Chinese New Year
Friday, 8th February - Chinese New Year
Saturday, 9th February - Youth mass for Valentine's day
Wednesday, 13th February - Report cards issued
Thursday, 14th February - P/T Interviews
Friday, 15th February - No school because teachers worked over time on Thursday

so this is more or less my schedule for the next week or so with the bible study on tuesday nights and PREP on wednesday nights. oh and also with children's liturgy of the word on sunday mornings. well, i'm actually supposed to be studying for my math exam (like i actually study for math...) and preparing for my socials exam that'll be on monday...well, i've got to go! hope to update soon!

SNOW DAY!

yay! snow day during exam week! more time to study! well, exams started on friday at 1pm.
Friday, 25th January - Religion paper @ 1pm
Monday, 28th January - English paper @ 8.30am
French paper @ 11am
Tuesday, 29th January - Science paper @ 8.30am
Band practical @ 11.50am
Wednesday, 30th January - Math paper @ 8.30am
Thursday, 31st January - Socials paper @ 8.30am
Friday, 1st February - No school for Grade 8
Going for friend's birthday party/sleepover after lunch

But because today just happened to be a snow day where is was near impossible to walk to school, the school was closed and only opened for the Grade 12 French Provincials. So now, I've got my tuesday exams on wednesday, wednesday exams on thursday, thursday exams on friday, and friday's holiday is now on monday. It was really snowing bad last night and it's supposed to snow again tonight. Hopefully it won't be so bad that school's closed again. If that happens, that would mean that the birthday party/sleepover would be cancelled because we would have our socials paper on monday. Well, today was a nice full day of studying apart from the occasional breaks watching some short clip on youtube abt FLH. Well, I really can't believe that i'm actually STUDYING and this is not even the end-of-years but if i get a 73% or higher, i can get recommended for the EOYs which means that i wouldn't have to take the written! tsk, tsk, still won't be able to leave early if i even could leave...report card comes out on the 27th june so my parents plans of a small trip to the islands in mid-june has to be re-scheduled. well, i've got to go so take care all! missing you!@!@!@

Going half-way back around...

heh...figure out the meaning of the title yourselves...anyway, i've got my exams starting this friday...had my french oral last week friday, had perfect for the questions, only a small mistake in the paragraph. Well, the BC Catholics rock! The girls got first place for the female category. The guys got third for the male category. Oh we so rock! Well, I'll be seeing my relatives during the holidays! Whether it's Singapore's June hols of my summer hols is another thing for you to figure out. I've told 2 people what it means and I'm not telling anyone else. They'd also gotten the instructions to not tell anyone and if anyone asks, to say they don't know what they're talking about. Well, I've got to go sleep now. I made this short! NIGHT!@!@!@

Happy and nervous!

Hey! I'm back once again! Well, just had my French oral and I nearly got perfect. I said 'Je mange le diner apres les classes.' for one question and she marked me down by a half mark! What's wrong with saying I eat my lunch after class? Well, another mistake was pronouncing 'et' as 'a' in the passage. The rest was fine. Well, the BC Catholics Basketball Tournament started on Wednesday afternoon. That was a tiring day for me. I reached school at 8am because I stupidly left the house at 7.30am. Then we had class until lunch and after lunch, there was PE but because of the tournament, we couldn't use the gym so we didn't have PE. So we were watching the game. Then I went for my last class which was band. Then after school, I watched games 1, 2 & 3 until 6pm. Then I went up to the drama room for PREP class that started at 6.30pm. Class ended at 7.45pm and then I went back down to the gym and watched the game until 9pm and then walked home in the below 0 temperature. Well, that was Wednesday. Yesterday, the Crusaders boys and girls team played at 10.30am and 12pm. Glad to say that both won! Well, had no class at all yesterday and was sitting in the hall way knitting with Sarah and Monica after the girls game because we weren't bothered to stand in the gym to 'watch' the guys play when we couldn't even see what was happening. So we then went off and sat in front of my locker and practiced our oral while knitting. Then today, we didn't have any classes again. So we were preparing for our French oral which were all at different times. Sarah's was at 8.45am, mine was at 10.15am, Monica's was at 12.45pm. So then Monica switched with someone and then I was the last to go for oral in my class. Well, it wasn't that bad being last actually. Oh and the Crusaders were playing at 4.30pm and 6pm today. Well, then there's actually a dance that's still going on right now but is going to end soon. Well, then tomorrow I'm actually suppose to do stats with Monica but Sarah had to get her PE hours and she took my spot. I actually really wanted to do stats with Monica but since both of them needed their hours, I let them do it. Well, I'm actually thinking of going to Tim Hortons for breakfast and then going to school for the tournament. But right now, I don't even know if I want to go for the tournament or not. Part of me wants to, but there's this lazy part of me that wants to sleep in and not go. I've still to decide and tell Monica and Sarah if I'm going or not. There's this part that wants to cheer on the teams, and the other part that wants to just watch shows on my laptop. Should I go or not? Well, I'll decide tomorrow morning and tell them. Hopefully they won't be mad if I decide not to go. Well, I've got my exams coming up soon so I'm gonna finish watching KO One before my mom comes back and after she comes back, I'll start studying. Yes, start, not continue, because I've really not started at all and I need to know the WHOLE BOOK OF GENESIS for my religion test! I'm going to be so dead on Friday! Oh well, that's what I get for not studying! Gonna go continue watching my show! Bye!

I'M BACK!@!@!@

bleh...exam week coming up already. Well, glad to say that the sadistic me is back. I realise that after my night time prayers really helped me. I asked God to give me a hug and he gave me so many hugs on Sunday through the awesome J-CRU people! You people rock! Well, God works his own way and he always has stuff planned out for us. He actually gave me the will to walk to and from church at night when the sun is not out and it was below O degrees! God works miracles for me! He let my sister stay till Saturday instead of Thursday, He helped the doctors perform a successful surgery on my grandma, He gave me so many hugs, and right now, He got my grandma out of her crucial week of recovery after surgery and she just needs to stay at a community hospital for a while before my family gets her back in the house! Well, got my exam schedule already. I've got French oral this Friday, Religion test the following Friday, English @ 8.30am on Monday, right after that I've got my French written @ 11am, Science on Tuesday, Math on Wednesday, Socials on Thursday, and Friday is a holiday! Well, still have to sign up for my band test. Anyway, I better go sleep. I'm going to have a long day tomorrow. Don't have to worry about me already! I'm so much better after the hugs! Plus, I'll get them every other Sunday at J-CRU and my mom's coming back on Monday! WOW! He really does miracles! I'm so glad I finally made him a part of my life after 13 years of being a CHRISTian!@!@!@ Love and miss y'all! Take care!

She's gone...

I'm officially alone with no immediate family members here. I last saw her 38 hours ago. She left the country 9.5 hours ago. I already miss her. I really can't express my feelings right now. I can't find the right words to describe them. I'm not feeling hurt. No one has offended me. I don't feel sad. It's not like I'm not going to see her anymore. I definately don't feel abandoned. My mom's coming back on the 21st and I've still got my cousins and uncles. I may feel lonely, but that's the only feeling I can put into words. I can't put the rest into words. I don't even know how to describe them. All I know is that these feelings that I have right now always make me cry. I've not laughed after the movie 'Water Horse' yesterday. That was already 25 hours ago. I'm deprived of laughter. I've tried to watch some videos that made me laugh till I really couldn't stop but they don't work now. I'm really deprived of laughter and I really don't know the feelings that I have now. I know that I'm definately not feeling happy or excited. I think I'm decieving everyone into thinking I'm really fine by the way I type in MSN conversations. Truth is I really don't know what I'm feeling and what I should do. I tell my friends and they either can't understand my problems or tell me to do something against my will. Well, I've got to go to bed. We're going out for lunch again. Thanks to anyone who prayed for my family!

I'm back!

Hey! Ok, so the op went fine and she was not too bad after the op according to them. Well, my sister is going back in 10 hours time. She missed the booking for the Thursday flight. I last saw her yesterday morning when she walked me to school. That was 18 hours ago. Well, I've been praying every night for the past 4 nights and I'm going to do that from now on. I feel that prayer really helps me feel better. He really takes care of all of us. I asked him to watch over her when they were doing the op, and He really did. I am really glad that nothing has happened to her. It's now the crucial week of recovery and if everything is fine, then she'll be fine. If anything does happen though, we don't know what's going to happen to her and the family, as in if we're still going to bring him over and if we're going back and if we do, when we'll be going back. Well, it's actually waaaaaay past my bedtime but no one is here, only my cousin and uncle. I feel really lonely now. Well, I'm actually trying to find someone who understands what I'm going through right now that I can talk to face-to-face but apparently, all of my friends, including the one whose mom has cancer, can't understand what I'm going through. They all don't understand the fact that I'm here alone without any immediate family here at all. They get to enjoy their days with their siblings and still complain that they wish they would be left alone. Well, let me tell you this, I said all this before but now I regret it. I HATE being alone. It's really unpleasent and if I could, I would take my words back. Let me just give you a warning: Wishes do come through, just sometimes, you make the wrong wishes and you wish to take back your words but that wish seldom comes through. I regret saying 'I wish I could be alone!' because now, I really really HATE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART the feeling of being alone. I feel isolated and no one understands my problem except God. I just need someone I can talk to face-to-face right now. I really need support from anyone I feel close and comfortable with. Well, I'd better stop or my tears won't stop. I need to sleep to. Nightz!

P.S. I really need a hug! I haven't had a hug since the Sunset Mass on Saturday.

Sadness...

Well, I've still to find out the results of the stress test but she'll most probably go for the operation on Wednesday. It's decided that my sister is going back on Thursday as long as there is a seat. This'll be my last post before I'm going to not update for a really long time again because school starts tomorrow. Winter break is over. Well, this week is going to be really horrible with me walking to school EVERY SINGLE DAY and walking back EVERY SINGLE DAY because no one is available to send me to school or fetch me back either. Add the fact that on Day 2s I've got gym AND band. So that means I'll have 5 files, 2 thick textbooks, my pencil case, my gym bag, my lunch bag, AND my instrument to walk to school with. It's not going to be the best day. Well, I've got to go sleep now. HOPE to update soon. I can't promise anything. Depends on the amount of work the teachers give us. Well, it's going to be cramming from now till exams because we've got 1 week of lessons, 1 week of the basketball tournament, 1 week of revision, then exam period already! Cram, cram, cram! Well, I'm going to do my BEST! Must always JIA YOU! Night all!

*sighs*

ok I'm back here again. She's going for a stress test on Monday and if everything is alright, she'll go for the op on Wednesday. That'll be Tuesday night for me here. I'm gonna make this short because I want to go to bed early tonight, and I mean very early. Well, for all those who have prayed for my family, I really thank you for that. For those who've been reading my super boring and long posts, I thank you for bearing with me and continuing to read though I may be super long-winded. For those that have been giving me support (my family) I really thank you for that. Well, my cousin's getting married this coming Saturday and my family is really filled with mixed feelings of happiness for my cousin, and worry for her. Well, we really hope that everything will be fine. I'm not sure if the other side of the family knows of her problems but the thing is that none of my family members, and I really mean NONE, know about my blog, so my cousins may not know of her problem because she's not from that side of the family, the side I'm much more close to. Well, I promised to make it short so here's the last sentence. I really thank God for all of my uncountable blessings. Bye! Hope to update tomorrow before school starts!

Sadness, worry, mixed feelings...

Hey! I'm back again. Well, my bro just left this morningto head back to Montreal. My aunt and godma made plans yesterday to take the SQ flight back yesterday after hearing the chances of success of the operation. BTW, she agreed to the operation already and she knows the risk. The whole family just talked to her yesterday night and when I heard a voice that was so familiar yet not, I really felt like crying my heart out. I was so happy that she was fine and that she was still so happy and cheery. I'm really thankful to God for giving her such a positive feeling of the operation. She even told all of us not to worry and not doubt God as if she knew what we were all thinking at that time. I heard my other relatives voice in the background and I really felt like talking to them but I know that the reason my mom got a calling card was for us to talk to her before the operation just in the case (touch wood) that the operation fails and we lose her. It's a very high risk operation but if she waits any longer it'll be worse. She knows the risk of the operation and she knows of the higher risks that she'll have if she doesn't do the operation as soon as possible. My sister just told me that she'll be leaving in a week's time which would mean that I'll be the only one from my immediate family (excluding my eldest brother in Montreal) here. I'm filled with sadness, worry, and I really don't know how I should be feeling for everything else. I feel like it's pointless for me to care about her right now because even if she leaves us, I am not allowed to go back. Which would mean that I'll be the only one, and I really mean ONLY one, who will not be at her funeral. I'm filled with mixed feelings. Hate for him because he won't allow me to go back, worry for her because she can leave at anytime, pity for myself because I'll be the only one left here, and sadness because I know that no matter what happens, I'll only have a 1% chance of going back before my EOYs are over. I really don't know if it'll be better if I try to forget her although she's my family member and not be that sad when I can't see her before she leaves us, or if it'll be better for me to care and worry for her and grieve when she leaves us. Then there is still him with similar problems of the chances of him leaving us soon. Well, there's also the other her who can also leave at anytime. They are aging and I'm not cursing them or anything. I hope that everyone who reads this would understand that I really care for them, it's just hard for me to show it to them and that what I'm doing now is stating the facts for myself to not get my hopes to high up in the case (touch wood again) of anything happening to them or in fact anyone I know and am close to. I'm really troubled. I want to hate someone but I've got no one to hate for a good reason. I really need a shoulder to cry on now and I know that I'll not help my sister if I cry on her. We promised her that we'll not worry for her but I'm sorry I'll have to break this promise. I think everyone broke that promise. I just realised how close I actually am to my grandparents only now after I am starting to lose one. I just wonder if it's going to happen to the other or maybe even the other two. I'm not cursing them again, I'm just telling myself that anything is possible. I'm writing this in the middle of the night for one reason: I don't want to tell my sister of the worry I have for her if not she'll worry abt both me and her and I don't want her to see me crying for her if not she'll also want to cry with me. I really need a shoulder even if I can just lean on it. I feel lonely now. My mother has gone back home, my brother has gone back to Montreal, my aunt and godma has gone back home, my sister will be going back to her dorm in uni, my cousin and uncle leaves the house early in the morning and come back just in time for dinner. I'm left alone in the house for the whole day. I can't cook either. So my lunch for school and home will always be bread, bread, and more bread. I may not even have proper dinners. I feel like and unwanted person right now. I really don't feel like telling this to my friends because I feel like a burden to people who pity me and try to comfort me. Well, I've got to go sleep.

(Un)Happy New Year!

Well, Happy New Year to all! I know it's a little late...but it's better late than never right? Well, my dad was just talking to my siblings and me telling us about her condition. She seems like she's in the 3rd stage of cancer but she seems very calm and accepts all these stuff well. She has an option of surgery or no surgery and she hasn't really decided yet. When my dad and aunt told him what was happening to her, he was also very calm and said that they were old and their time would come eventually and we would all have to accept that, which took us by surprise 'cause he's not usually like that. My aunt and godma are going back tomorrow and this was just planned 5 hrs ago. My brother's and sister's wish of going back during their 1 week reading week is not going to come true as my mother and father said that the surgery would most probably be done and that will be done before then. So even if we three all go back, that can only be in mid-June after my exams, which is the summer hols. Well, from all this information, I guess you all know why I put (Un) in front of Happy 'cause it's not and most probably will not be the best year ahead. I never saw my mom's dad, and now, after 13 years (what a coincidence of the number 13), all my 3 remaining grandparents health are ALL detioriating. I'm not cursing or anything, I'm just stating what is happening at this moment. I'm not trying to predict the future or assume anything. I'm just stating the facts and what I know definately WILL happen like my aunt and godma going back tomorow. Well, I need to go to bed now. I thank everyone who prayed for our family and I ask that you continue praying especially for her. The Lord is kind enough to give her this mental stability and for helping her keep calm. We're all very thankful that she's not depressed or anything. Her only worry was how he would have taken the news, but now that it is over, she's really calm and we're very happy to see her with this positive attitude knowing that prayer is one of the very few things that will help her now. I really thank the Lord for being so kind to our family! Alleluia! Praise the Lord!