She's gone...

I'm officially alone with no immediate family members here. I last saw her 38 hours ago. She left the country 9.5 hours ago. I already miss her. I really can't express my feelings right now. I can't find the right words to describe them. I'm not feeling hurt. No one has offended me. I don't feel sad. It's not like I'm not going to see her anymore. I definately don't feel abandoned. My mom's coming back on the 21st and I've still got my cousins and uncles. I may feel lonely, but that's the only feeling I can put into words. I can't put the rest into words. I don't even know how to describe them. All I know is that these feelings that I have right now always make me cry. I've not laughed after the movie 'Water Horse' yesterday. That was already 25 hours ago. I'm deprived of laughter. I've tried to watch some videos that made me laugh till I really couldn't stop but they don't work now. I'm really deprived of laughter and I really don't know the feelings that I have now. I know that I'm definately not feeling happy or excited. I think I'm decieving everyone into thinking I'm really fine by the way I type in MSN conversations. Truth is I really don't know what I'm feeling and what I should do. I tell my friends and they either can't understand my problems or tell me to do something against my will. Well, I've got to go to bed. We're going out for lunch again. Thanks to anyone who prayed for my family!