Farewell

Quite obviously, you take me as nothing. I checked with her, and apparently, whatever you've been telling me are all lies, and straight to my face? How much worse can it get? All I actually want is for you to realise your mistake. You betrayed my trust that I put in you through six years of friendship. I don't know if I can forgive you, but I'll really try, and I'm willing to help you get on the right track, if you want to accept my help. All I need of you is to admit that you've made up lies all this while, to admit that you've betrayed my trust, and I will help in whatever way I can.

We're all trying to help you, but why are you declining our help? You've not only lied to me, but you've even lied to him, after you confided in him so much, even more than you confided in me. Are you aware that the more you do this, the more you're just hurting yourself? I didn't think that I'll have to end this friendship when I came back. I thought that our problems were going to be solved. I had so many hopes, but you just crushed ALL of them. Like they say, expect the worst, hope for the best. Somehow, even when I expect the worst, I still end up being hurt when it actually arrives.

I'm sure you're aware that I confide in him. I also think that you know that whatever you say to me, I tell her because I need to confirm if that's true. What EVERYONE is saying about you is the total opposite of what you're telling me. Why? You know that it just makes it harder for me? I have to choose between believing a friend that I've trusted for the past 6 years, or the majority of your ex-close friends who are saying totally different things from you. It's a hard choice, but I've chosen the latter. I think it's better for both of us. I'm sorry, but I don't have trust in you anymore. It's just too painful for me.

I need to talk to you, but I never have the courage. I'm sorry, but you're not a friend of mine anymore. I hope you enjoy your life. I'll still be in your life as a peer, but not as a friend. Farewell.

But somehow, I can never dislike you at all. I can't even ignore you. I still treat you as a really good friend, even when I think about what you did to me. I just learnt that I'm far less mean that I thought I was. I'm not even as strong as I appear to be. Why? This just really sucks for me. It's hard to even say goodbye.