Thinking...

I've been thinking a lot this morning. I started thinking about how I just wanted someone here to just give me a hug. I want someone to understand what I'm feeling and to explain it to me, because I'm clueless, but I don't have the energy the explain it to anyone. It just really sucks to have so much time on hand, and have so many problems that you can never solve. Why is it that I always think so much when I have nothing else to do?

I started thinking about how mama is the one who's suffering the most. She's the one with cancer, and she's also slowly becoming paralysed. Why her? When I first saw her in so much pain, I couldn't sleep, even at 4am. But now, I'm just glad that she's still here with us. Sometimes, I just wished that He would take her out of her pain, but I don't want to lose her either. Is it possible for her to be with us without the pain?

The other thing I started thinking about was how yeye is honestly very very troublesome. He always thinks that something is wrong with him, even though nothing is. Old age is irritating. I hope I don't become like that la. Anyway, Gab and I brought him to doctor's because of stiff neck! Of all things la! Anyway, it's over, and it's something we have to deal with. I'm actually glad that I don't have to live with it. I honestly feel sorry for Val and Gab la.

The last thing that I was thinking about was the misunderstanding. I'm glad that we talked it out today. Thanks for bringing it up first. I was actually very scared when you said we had to talk, but I'm glad that we did. I love you! Thanks for explaining it, but know, I don't know what to say to her already. How? Anyway, glad that our friendship is better than I can remember. =)

Les, thanks for yesterday's Starbucks! I guess I actually had the courage in me to talk about it. Thanks for agreeing to talk to her even though you ended up not having to. Haha.