After 2 years...

...I've finally made up my mind. I don't want to go back. I want to stay here. I don't care if I'm going to be 3 years behind my friends. I just want to stay here. I'm willing to give up my chance of Montreal band trip, for my life back here. Even if it means having to go through art, I don't care. All I can say is that I don't want to go back anymore. Sure, there's a small part of me that says go back, but if I really wanted to go back, I wouldn't be crying so much right now. But I don't know how to tell them! Can I not go back? I really don't want to leave. Lord, please help me.