You'll find some soon.

All of you are now going through what I went through when I left. Now you guys are really wondering who's really there for you, and who's just there because of what you have to give them. I'm sorry, I'm not there. I know how it feels. It really sucks to feel alone, to not know who to trust. Honestly, I still don't know either, but the feeling will pass. Eventually, you learn to trust yourself, and hopefully another few whom you can confide in. I'm still trying to find my few after two years, you guys will find yours soon too. Don't give up k? I miss you guys. We're at a stage that we're drifting from our friends from primary school, but we shouldn't, because those were the friends who've seen you grow up and change. They were the ones who you used to depend on, and they know how you like to be treated. They are the ones we should trust, even if it means that we have to spend more time to understand them to put our trust in them. I know it's hard, but we should really not just forget about them. I hope you'll all find your true friends.
----------------------------------------------------
I'm still waiting for your reply. I don't know if you've read it and want to cut me off, or if you just haven't read it. Please say it's the second one, and that you want to improve it too. I really miss you and I'm worried. I'm scared that I ruined it, but I really had to tell you. It's how I've felt since I've learnt what true friendship meant.

I'm sorry.

Girl, I'm sorry you feel that way, the way I feel too. It sucks doesn't it? We call ourselves bffs, but we don't open up to each other. How is this supposed to work if you won't tell me you problems, and I feel like I can't tell you mine? We need to talk, and we need to do it soon. Please don't block me out from your life. You type out what you truly feel, but you act and speak the opposite. I do the same, I know how you feel. I really hope that all will be fine. I really need to talk to you so badly, but I don't know how. I guess I keep hoping that you'll read my blog someday, not just me reading yours, and I hope that it's someday soon. I miss you, real bad. Don't you know that when I read about how you don't know who to trust, I know exactly how you feel, and that I really hoped that you didn't feel that way? I really want to understand you more. I don't even know what you like or or dislike. I don't even know which singer you like to listen to, not even the language. I really want to get to know you better. Is it possible? Or do I just have a false hope within me? I really hope it's possible. I miss you a lot.

My really tiring weekend.

Ok, so on Saturday, I had to go church and help set up the stuff for the Internation Brunch on Sunday. Then we realised that we needed more kueh pie-tee shells. So I had to stay over at Godma's that night and we had to fry the shells. We had to go over to Gu ma's house first to celebrate Nick's birthday. Then we got back at 10pm and started to fry the stuff. By the time we fried the 200++ shells, it was already 1am and we had to leave at 7.45am to prepare for the brunch. Btw, you could only do one shell at a time, cos you have to heat the mould in oil, then dab dry, then dip in the batter, then dip in the oil to deep fry, then loosen the shell off the mould, fry a while more, slide it off when it starts to harden and keep it's shape and leave it in the oil to continue cooking, then dip in batter, and it continues that way. Super tiring. At first I thought the mould was so light. Then after 2 hours of dipping and frying, my hand super pain sia. It was red and shaking and I had to take a break la.

Sunday was get up at 6.30am after sleeping at 1.15am to shower day. Then all of us went to start preparing cos it started at 9am. Then, Chelsea was just supposed to go for brunch only, but she ended up staying for the whole thing la. So much for wanting to go home and study. Then after it ended at 1pm, we went home, and we rested a while. Then Godma came to pick us up and we went to Huckleberry (a nursery in South Surrey). Bought even more plants for the house. Then, we got home, had dinner, and stuff like that.

Today, after I got up, ate breakfast and lunch, did homework and stuff, then at around 2pm, went to the track at school with mom to run. Wa liao, I'm super slow la! I took around 13 mins just to run/walk 1.6 man. Then, I intended on baking cupcakes, but I didn't have the pan. So walked to Godma's to pick it up, and stopped at Tim Horton's and McGavin's on the way. Then after we walked back, I started baking. Got back around 4.45pm and started baking around 5.15pm. Finished preparing around 6.20pm cos I'm slow that way. It's supposed to take around 30 mins but I took around an hour. Then dinner at Godma's was supposed to be around 7pm so I went to bathe and mom was like 'I'm going to cook and shower first.' Then I told her we had no time, but she just won't believe me la. So after I finished showering, it was already 7pm and we were already late, but I found mom still cooking la. Then she said wait, I have to shower first. I wanted to spazz at her lor, but I decided to not waste my energy because we had to walk to Godma's. Then after her shower, we started walking there. We usually take around 20-25 mins to get there, but we were so late and rushing that we got there in around 15mins. Dinner was quite amusing. Some weird jokes and stuff. Watched dancing with the stars on tv, and we were watching Susan Boyle and Connie Talbot on youtube. Amazing voices! Those that send shivers up your spine and arms. Then we got home and I started my homework.

I should probably sleep, or I'll be late for Jazz band tomorrow morning, which I already will because mom has to send dad to work in Richmond before coming home to pick me up.

Very sian...

I'm going to die la. I got 5As and 3 Bs for interim report cards and dad's going to kill me la. And I have to cook dinner again. That's why I'm super sian now.

It actually amazes me that I cook dinner so often, but I have not succeeded in frying an egg without burning the bottom, or if I don't burn the bottom, I cook the yolk to much, and I always want the liquid egg yolk. So yeah, I cooked yesterday too, and I had to just warm up the 'currypop egg' (as Popo and mom calls it) by adding water, dark and light soy sauce, salt, pepper, and sugar. Such a simple combination, yet my mind that can easily do Maths and Science can't figure out how to cook that. But yet, I can fry things perfectly fine. I bake fine too. I just can't cook anything that I have to let simmer in something. I fail at cooking things with sauce and gravy. Eggs are my weakness too. That's why when I go back home, I'm staying over at Uncle Hil's to learn to cook from Popo!

Ok, I swear, yesterday was a weird band class. Mr. Cabralda randomly brought up the fact that we talk too much during class and we have to play more. So then I was wondering why that sounded so familiar, then I realised that I typed that up while talking about Seattle. Then after that he was staring at me with a weird look on his face, like he knew something about me. So now I'm wondering if he knows about my blog. And this morning, he brought Timbits to jazz band! So postponing the practice wasn't too bad, and it was worth waking up early too. Then after school, I was walking towards the band room, and he started staring weirdly at me again, then suddenly asked what I got in band. Haha. Mr. Cabralda is super weird la.

Ya, so my conclusion of this is that Mr. Cabralda is my weirdest teacher, but he's my favourite la. He's very nice. There was one Saturday that we had a jazz band festival that lasted for the whole day, and when we went for dinner, he paid for all our drinks la, and there were around 20 of us, and some of us ordered a few drinks because we were there for about 2 hours or somewhere around that.

Oh, and the SCB is going to Banff next week. I want to go la! So sad, can't afford. You know, if I went, I'd be performing for senior band, jazz band, and concert choir! I'm doing so much music stuff this year. 3 bands and 2 choirs: Gr. 9 Band, Senior Concert Band, iJazz One, Extracurricular Choir, and Vocal Jazz 2. So yeah, I really want to go to Banff la, but I'm going Montreal already because of Tim's graduation at the end of May. Oh well, the worst is that I'm actually missing the Kiwanis for the Gr. 9 Band, the actual band that I'm supposed to be in. Ok, I should go do my homework. Busy weekend ahead! International Brunch @ St Matthew's Parish on Sunday @ 9am - 2pm!

Band Trip '09 - Seattle

Ok, so I was at Seattle with the band from 2-5th April. I swear it was such a great trip la. I know this is super late la. It's very long over due already.

On Thursday, we left school after mass and we headed down. Then we stopped for a short break during tea time. Went to hotel and went to our rooms, put our stuff away. Then, we went for dinner and shopping at some mall close by that night. Didn't do much shopping there because I didn't really find much la. Then as we were walking around, Sarah and I spotted Mr. Cabralda at the Apple store. We weren't surprised at all la. It was really expected. Yeah. Then we went back hotel and room checks/lights out.

Friday, we went to the experience music program (EMP), sci-fi museum, and pacific science centre. EMP was honestly super boring la, besides a huge LED screen near the entrance. There was also a really super tall structure constructed of guitars. Super cool sia! Then we headed over the the sci-fi side. (They were connected.) It was a lot of stuff like Star Wars, Star Trek, and all those kind of sci-fi shows. Quite cool actually. Then we went for lunch near by. Sarah and I bought food from the food court and we ate on the stage in front of the space needle. Then we laid there, and we actually lay on the floor with my bag under my head, until we had to meet to go to science centre. Science centre was super nice! Haha. Look at my pictures on facebook. Saw naked mole rats, buterflies, and they were super pretty, and a lot of others that I'm too lazy to type. We watched an IMAX film too. Sat next to Mr. Cabralda because all of them won't, and honestly, I would have died of boredom if he didn't sit there. He kept making realy funny comments and after a while, he started yawning so much and was likely falling asleep that I started getting tired and yawning a lot too. I swear, yawning is really contagious la. Once you start, hard to stop. Ya, then we went to Buca di Beppo for dinner. Some Italian restaurant. Spaghetti quite nice there. Then went back to hotel, had a bit of free time, then we had dry rehearsals. We talked a lot more than actually practiced. But the same thing always happens with Mr. Cabralda la. Then after that was room checks and lights out.

Saturday was our performance day. I would say this was the lousiest day of the trip, but not because we had to do work. It was because of Saturday night, but I'll elaborate later. Saturday we had breakfast and immediately went to performance venue already. Then, Gr. 8 performed first. Like always, got the assignment to assess other bands la. But honestly, that assignment always helps me because I start thinking about how badly we play, although we may get good comments from judges, I always find the flaws of our school bands, but then I don't focus as much on that of the other schools' bands. I'm super biased la. Ok, so after we performed, we went to take a group photo, which has yet to be sent to us. Then after that we watched a few other bands perform and we went off for lunch and a little shopping. After shopping, we went back to the hotel and got changed for our cruise to the awards banquet. Headed to pier 55 near Pike market and got on the boat. Really nice view of Seattle from the sea la. Such a nice ride with great scenery lor. Then we reached Tillicum Village, a longhouse. The food wasn't too bad. Had a play/storytelling/acting/naration/whatever you want to call it about the history of the natives. Quite interesting actually. Then was the awards presentation. Mr. Cabralda actually looked a little worried when he went to collect our recording/adjudications la. Then he picked concert master & top student to go collect the prize, so Matthew and I had to go up. They called our band for a bronze. After we got it, I was really so close to tears la. I was really disappointed in us actually, and he wanted to take a picture, and it's on facebook, but it looks really weird. Then, the Gr. 8 got Bronze 3rd. (We got bronze 4th. 5 schools in the same category including us.) So we were quite disappointed la. Then after a while, I just started to tear and cry. Was really disappointed in us, because I knew we could do so much better. Yeah, so I honestly couldn't enjoy the boat ride back, although the view of Seattle at night from the sea was just breath-taking. It actually felt good to let my tears run down my face and get dried up by the wind. Then after that we went back to the hotel and slept. It was a super long day, and I still couldn't get over the fact that we did worse compared to the Gr. 8 band.

Sunday was the day of shopping at the outlets. Honestly, I just couldn't really cheer myself up that much and I didn't really shop much. Before the outlets, we headed to Christ the King Church for Palm Sunday mass after breakfast. The priest was really nice, but it was the long gospel mass and I don't really like it to be honest. Yeah, then after that was when we headed to the outlets. Went to the food court for lunch first, then walked around to shop, and I can't say there was nothing much to buy, because when I went back a week later, I bought stuff that was there the week before too, so it was just that I couldn't get into the mood. Mr. Cabralda moved to our bus for the trip back. Near the end of the trip, I felt bad for Mr. Cabralda, because he was trying to cheer me up, but I just couldn't really cheer up just as yet. He was trying to point out that I could take this as a learning point for Kiwanis and do better there, (which, by the way, I am not able to perform because I'll be at Tim's grad) and that I still had senior concert band. I only realised that on Monday, and then the guilt of him trying to cheer me up set in. If I were him, I'd feel sad because he really tried but couldn't do much. Now that I look back, Sierra and him comforted me a bit and I'm really greatful for that. Yeah. So then it was back to school on Monday.

Then the worst and, at the same time, best thing happened during band class. We were listening to the adjudications during class and looking at the judges written comments and found that one of the judges messed up the forms for the Gr. 8 and 9 band. So technically, we were the ones who got the 3rd place in the end. It helped to know that, but I think we still could have done better and gotten a silver, since our average was only 1 less than a silver. (Silver - 75, we got 74.) So yeah, that was more or less the band trip for me.

Oh! And on the way back, Mr. Cabralda and Ms. Aguiar asked if I missed my parents, (because I sat in front, sitting at the back causes motion sickness for me...) and I could only be honest and say no. I really didn't miss them. Then again, when they work nights, I don't really see them much, because after I get back from school, they're sleeping, or getting ready to go to work again. And I had to stay one week at gu-ma's house when mom was back home and dad hadn't come over yet. And then I've been on trips with Celeste's family and school trips before. So yeah, I can survive not seeing them for a long time. Even when mom went back for 2 months, I didn't really miss her much, I just missed her cooking la.

Ok, I went off topic liao. I shall end this super duper crazily long post la. Let you escape from my rambling of nonsense.

---------------------------------------------
I really hope 棒棒堂 will come to Vancouver leh.
Hopefully 飞轮海 will come again, this time all of them.
I can't believe I'm always missing the 台湾艺人 who go to Singapore to perform sia. Very sian leh.