thinking...

...about somethings I read somewhere, written by different people.
True friends.
Definition: someone who is always there, never forgetting you, sharing your troubles.
Who are MY true friends?
I can name one person.
But even that person doesn't seem like one anymore.
Do I really have no true friends?
"True friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget"
- G. Randolf
Yes she was all of the above, but what if it is only me who feels that she is difficult to leave and imopossible to forget?
What if she just doesn't think of me as a true friend?
A true friend would never ask you to take sides, but let you choose.
We never got in a situation like that, so how am I suppose to know?
What if I really don't have true friends?
Is this the consequence of having to start over?
Life is never fair.
When you recieve something you treasure, you loose something else that you treasure.
I recieved the chance to start life anew.
I lost my friends.
Both I treasure, one I have to choose.
Why am I the only one who is suffering from this choice?
The other who made a great loss had the chance to choose where (s)he wanted to be.
Why can't I have the choice?
Why did we have to move?
Especially at this time?
I honestly hate you now for doing this.
I wanted to start fresh with all my friendships.
To earse all the grudges I've held against people.
Even if I do that, they don't even talk to me.
It's a worthless effot that I'm trying to make, so why bother?
I really want to go back to before.
To when we held to grudges.
To when I still had to chance to decide my future.
To when I was eight and tell my parents that I didn't want to anymore.
But time never stops for me.
I'll just leave it as that.